A taste of Maz.. or it's coastline, anyway

Umm.. Yep. So this is the city of my current residence.

REASONS TO LIKE WORKING IN A COFFEESHOP IN MEXICO

Today I met this french guy who grew up in the Ivory Coast, works in the Middle East as a teacher, and drove down from Seattle with a girl from California who he met two years ago in India.

“The worst sleep ever!” he laughingly complained, as he eagerly sipped down his coffee and explained the excitement of sleeping in your car only to be woken up with Military guns pointed at your face.

Their ultimate goal was to make it down to Guatemala City, where they’re going to go to some small, isolated villages and set up a volunteer based Montessori-esque school for some kids who's only other option is harvesting coffee. This is either the second or third official one they’ll have started… ahh, I love it! All from a homeless looking guy who is excited to shower in the ocean, has no shoes in sight and yet two master degrees and is changing the lives of children in different countries all over the world.

The dream, it's yours - own it, you can live it!

“That is the principal thing-not to remain with the dream, with the intention, with the being-in-the-mood, but always forcibly to convert it all into things.” 
— Rainer Maria Rilke

"How I ended up in a foreign country living with two babies, three married couples, two Chinese girls, some people from Pennslyvania, and two Mexicans," and other fun explanations.

If you had asked me two weeks ago what I would be doing today, “leaving everything behind to establish a new life in Mexico,” was probably not exactly what I had in mind. Yet here I am, four days of Mexican living under my belt, and 7 more months to go!


So how did I get here?

Well, I was just living regular Sara life in Saint Louis. Working, friendshiping, that sort. It’s the generic American lifestyle (plus or minus a few things, of course) that usually fuels my wanderlust and leaves me longing for foreign streets, new eyes, empty pockets and an overflowing heart.

This time was a little different. I’m slowly but surely getting over the whole, never stay anywhere for more than a few months things. It’s exhilarating, so many good things have come from it, (I’ve experienced God in so many places and contexts that I had never even known existed!) and I have no doubt it’s been the right road for the past two years, but it’s lonely and exhausting. I am weary of having eyes that see so much but hands that can only touch, never hold.

Plus, unlike two years ago, I now have a much more solid grasp as to what I feel I'm supposed to be doing longer term, and had various steps lined up to hopefully start pursuing seriously in January, and I’ve been working full time trying to save up in an attempt to make that a reality.

So when I heard of this program in Mexico called Marketplace Ministry, I thought it sounded awesome, but dismissed it quickly as ultimately a money depleting, dream crushing, time waster that would just mean I would have to start over once again with nothing, like so many times before, right back where I was at with little relevance to the future I am pursuing.

So that was that, I stopped thinking about it. I actually really liked my job and the people I met there, things were going well otherwise, I loved getting to spend more time with my friends; I was achieving St. Louis goals that should have been conquered years ago…. For the first time in a long while, I didn’t even have an overwhelming desire to leave. And then randomly Mayhecko started popping back in to my head.

“Hey. Stop it,” I would say.
“You don’t have anything to do with my future, I’m happy and saving money, go away,” I told it, with an eye glare and a nod of finality.

But alas, it persisted!

So I started praying about it. And everytime, the response would be the same, unrelenting, “Go.”

“Oh, uhh, sorry God, but you must have forgotten… That has nothing to do with my future… remember? You've instilled a passion in me for abolishing Human Trafficking and pursuing justice ... ummm, not a business class in a surf town in Mexico.” Haha. Cuz of course I know more about my future and what God wants me to do with my life than He does. “Umm, and, I’m pretty happy right now… not really good timing to uproot and make a trek into the unknown, wouldn’t you agree?” Apparently not, because the only “response” I ever got was just got more ‘go to Mexico’s.’

So I talked to Justin with Looney Bean, booked a super expensive flight, worked 8 shifts in seven days while still managing to spend 3 days preparing/celebrating my best friends wedding, said my goodbyes, packed, and 8 days later landed in a new country, without any luggage or ideas as to why exactly I’m supposed to be here, aside from the fact that to truly live our lives we’ve got to lose them.

So! To all who were wondering, that’s why I’m here, and this is what I’ll be doing:


I am doing a program called Marketplace Ministry, run through Looney Bean Coffee Company. Basically you live in a community with a bunch of other Looney Bean people, while taking Business, Ministry, and Spanish classes, working at their coffee shop, doing various ministry around the city (i.e. working at the dump or an orphanage, leading kids clubs or working with prostitutes…. Or all of the above and more!), and learning how to run a business that can be used either as a ministry or to fund a ministry, so that you are self-supported, etc. The program runs through the end of January but afterwards I can either stay on as a volunteer and/or help with the next program which starts mid-February.

Even though it’s uprooting once again at a time and for a reason that somewhat defies logic, I am excited and ready for whatever this season may bring, because I know that regardless of the challenges and the uncertainty of handing over the reins of control, it's not a dream-crushing, time wasting, money murderer - I feel confident that this is where I am supposed to be and I’m excited for all the things God has in store that are “too lofty for me to attain.”

‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts “ Isaiah 55:8-9

Beni Swa L’Eternal!! (an off the field update)

So I know the post below this is sort of depressing and just talks about what a terrible state Haiti is in, and, well, that's true... but there are also ridiculously awesome things going on in Haiti and I just want to share a few of them! They make me so excited, you don't even know!!

1. During our time in Saint Marc, a counseling group from Switzerland started visiting the girls at some local brothels. While they were initially a little apprehensive about what sort of reception they might receive, they were instantly greeted with total warmth and hospitality, to the point that the brothel girls even closed down the business for a few hours just to spend more time with them. This lead to the idea to of inviting the brothelites over to the YWAM base every week for fun activities, refreshments, some great conversations, and a revitalizing change of environment. For the first time ever, there were girls from all different brothels, countries, and backgrounds in one place, enjoying each others company (okay... we saw a few catfights... but they always led to some moral lesson and forgiveness!) and relating to us and each other in ways that nothing to do with their employment. I was only on base for three of the weeks that the girls came, but it was enough to see the beauty in each of them, discover that, for almost all, this was not their lifestyle of choice (many viewing it as more of a form of slavery than anything else), and hope for the best for all of them.... which is why it was so exciting to hear that, within a month and a half, TEN of them had left the business! And that was while we were in Port-au-Prince, so there may be even more since then... This was a friend in Haiti's facebook status the other day:

"Praise God! Today the first prostitute who left the brothel was moved into a local pastors home where she will be discipled and given a chance for a fresh start! When she saw her new room at the pastors house, she sat down and cried- she's been praying for a way out for so long! God is moving!!!"

AAaaah!! Sooo good!!  So many big things are happening in Haiti ... change is coming!!

2. THIS ONE IS AWESOME! The first tent city we lived/worked with at the Medical Clinic New Beginnings is one of 3 tent cities under YWAM Saint Marc. There were 18 families living there, all of whom we got to know through teaching/working/living alongside them for a month. The tents were constantly flooded, if you were lucky enough to have a mattress, it was probably filled with water and mildew, hopelessness was rampant, people longed for housing of their own .. these were not just beggars off the street (and so what if they were?), these were business men, hard workers, busy mothers, mechanics.... who in one tragic moment had everything ripped away from them. 

AND NOW THEY ARE THE FIRST (YWAM) TENT CITY TO BE CLOSED DOWN AND MOVED IN TO PERMANENT HOUSING!!! That's right, Homes of Hope and summer teams have been working hard all summer, and my friends all have their own houses again, in beautiful Timmonet! I am so excited for them! I honestly did not think this was going to be a reality for them for ages still. ((and now I just read that two of them have been closed! Click and look at this goodness!))

3. Cite Soleil means City of Light, but you would never know it from the slums, guns, and naked children running rampant through the area. The last tent city we worked in was in Cite Soleil, the poorest and most dangerous part of Haiti (and one of the last areas to receive aid after the earthquake), with this particular camp housing about 6,000 displaced Haitians. We were the first ywam team to be sent to that location, so we met with the local leadership who then informed us that the majority of the children were orphans, food had ceased arriving, clean water was miles away, and they were in desperate need of a school, a church, a true football or activity field (to give the children something to do), and a clinic of some sort. In our last days there we were thrilled to be able to deliver food to the community, but it was disheartening not knowing if it could be the last. (When food is a rarity to a starving child who's country is covered in aid workers and relief packages, what happens to that child, to those amazing children who I've sung and danced with, months later when everyone's gone home and even the media's forgotten about Haiti? Those are the thoughts that plagued me while we were in Port-au-Prince...I found out last month that one of the little little girls I had gotten to know there, the cute little one I'm holding in this picture, had died. You can read about it here, in a post called And the Smallest Smile Faded. Those fears were not without reason.)

 
 So the internet has been GREAT because first I saw a video of another food distribution going on down there... then I read that our amazing Brazilian chef Walter really had it on his heart to cook for the people down there, and he's been making meals for the kids! Next I saw requests for funds and donations to help build a school/church/clinic, and now all the funds have come in and they are going to start building on September 1st! ...All they need are people to go build! 



I would lovelovelove to go so much, but alas, I am still financially depressed, hehe, and am hoping to do photogenx or something equally epic/unfortunately costly this coming January, which requires working non-stop til then to try to set off part at least part of the costs. Which means.... YOU should go instead! Yeaaah, I know it's in like... two weeks... but come on, live a little! Haha okay... fine... don't go (not really....of course go! geez!) for this... but you should consider going for fall or winter holiday! I promise it'll change lives, yours being the first.


Anyway, not sure if anyone still actually checks this, but just wanted to get the word out there that some big prayers are being answered in Haiti, so keep em coming! 
ps. If you are interested in donating to ywam haiti, click here to go to YWAM Port-au-Prince's site, or here for YWAM Saint Marc's!

squalor that leaves the mind gasping for air

"In the lights of passing shops,
we could see tattered clothing on a
frail humanity,
pumping water into an old bucket,
carrying a gunny sack of
dirty papers and rags,
and hammering on a
greasy bicycle frame.

My wife was crying tears and sobbing sobs,
"Take me back home!"
"I want to go back home!"

My heart was thinking,
"Is this a ride through hell?"
"Is this a night in Paradise Lost?"
"Is this what happens
when no one cares?"
"Is this the ultimate end of
a lost humanity?"
"And where are the shepherds
to look for the lost sheep?"

In Calcutta, you walk through human
stench and bone-grinding
degradation and watch a heroic
struggle against all the odds to
survive in a squalor that leaves the mind
gasping for air.

You walk through a no-man's land of
lepers begging
with no noses and
with stumps for fingers
(the flesh long since eaten away).

You see humanity with no limbs, partial
limbs, and horribly twisted limbs
vying for alms with mothers
clutching new-born babies to their
shriveled breasts.

You see children scavenging garbage bins
for bits of broken glass or metal
for 14 cents a day.

Then, before you can get accustomed to
the depths of someone else's misery,
the survival dance takes a different turn.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see an
enchantingly beautiful nine- or ten-year
old girl picking through a pile of
ashes to find some bits of
charcoal to sell.

Her beauty could appear on the cover of
any number of American fashion
magazines were it not for her filth, and
you ask yourself,

"What future does she have?"

"How long before she begins to sell herself for
some man’s quick joyride
at 30 or 40 cents a shot?"

And deeper questions jettison into your
conscience,
"What is my responsibility here?"
"Am I my brother's keeper?"
"Who is my neighbor?"

---

I'm not sure who wrote this, maybe David G. Marmon.
But it resonates with me, reminds me of Haiti - the
"you walk through human
stench and bone-grinding
degradation and watch a heroic
struggle against all the odds to
survive in a squalor that leaves the mind
gasping for air."
especially,
with the ending being the sort of questions that seem to be permanently embedded in my own thoughts, the answers always changing and never secure enough to be closed with a period.
I despair over being bound by financial limitations in my longings to experience and hopefully help change the world/at least one person's life, but it doesn't leave me without excuse or responsibility even with under $50 to live off of for the next who knows how long. This is perhaps a bit extreme, but challenging and thought provoking for me non-the-less:

"Definitely Mother Teresa is someone I consider a hero; not for her work and dedication to the poor and the dying and destitute; nor for the nice quotes she left us to write in our face book profiles. I admire her for her power to sacrifice without requirements. I have been seen how missionaries work around the world, and how non-profits organizations functions and there is always conditions and requirements of all sorts, from A to Z, from all colors of the rainbow and wedding ring sizes before "loving people".
I am not ignorant and I am quite aware that without money we can't do much; we cannot help a hungry child or cure someone’s disease. But seems that it was not that important for Momma T and she has never have those requirements to start to acting justly, love mercy and walking humbly: begging for food herself to feed the orphans was a sacrifice she made but she never required of God to provide everything before she started living the life she was called to.
How many people like helping the poor but with the condition of a home with a bed and a place to shower? Or How many of us are willing to live with the poor somewhere in the slums in Thailand, knowing that we can always count in having few dollars that someone, either family or friends, will deposit to held us to get our basic needs and once in a while a treat?
I want to help everyone only if I have my own comfort zone within my uncomfortable zone. I have conditions to help. I am a hypocrite; that’s what I am and I realized that there are so many things I have to confront. But Mother Teresa was not even close to be a hypocrite: she became an orphan herself (separating from her family), and lived among the poor leaving behind the comfort of her cozy convent in Loreto"

(-www.iamhumanity.blogspot.com)

the rubble is pushed aside, the bodies are out of sight ...

it's been 6 months since the earthquake, and judging by the media coverage (or should I say lack there of?), it seems Haiti has regained some stability and normalcy.

Well, normalcy, yes. I can attest to the fact that the Haitians seemed to have adjusted. Unfortunately what the past 6 months has made "normal" to Haitians is a life that no one should have to adjust to. Every single park, field, or open space has been converted in to a tent city (If you haven't read my previous posts, a "tent" could mean anything from a big hoop tent to a small camping tent to four big sticks with plastic wrap and rice bags for a ceiling.), some housing as many as 10,000 displaced Haitians (very possibly a higher number, that's just the largest that I personally saw), with another tent city down the road, and then on the next street, and the next and the next and the one after that and so on and so forth.
You do not need to go looking for the ones who have lost everything, they are everywhere.

So, yes, there's more of a sense of normalcy. But the "norm" is rape. The "norm," is starvation. The NORM is sleepless nights, hugging your few belongings tight as the rest of your tent gets flooded in torrential downpour and fishing out other possessions in the morning, not knowing when the next time you'll be assured a sip of water, unemployment and boredom resulting in theft and gang activity, hundreds of orphans in one place being "cared for" by people who don't have enough to feed their own children, the norm is children being robbed of a future or education because you no longer have the right clothes or supplies to be allowed in to schools, the norm are swollen stomachs and orange hair that's falling out from malnutrition.
Haiti is no doubt more stable than it was right after the earthquake. But instead of a tragic "event," it is now a tragic life.

And it is already almost forgotten.

Please.. PLEASE DO NOT FORGET ABOUT HAITI!!!

When the Earthquake was still really big, Rihanna, Jay-Z, and Bono wrote a song regarding the tragedy. During the chorus, along with some semi-unfortunate "ooh"ing, this is repeated:
"We're not gunna leave you stranded...."
I listened to it the other day when I was looking some Haiti stuff up on youtube, and I started crying when it got to that part. (haha, yea, okay, embarrassing... whatever, lol) Not because of the song (can't really claim to be a fan), not even so much about the message... but because... It's only 6 months later and in many ways we HAVE already left. We did leave them stranded... or at least I kind of feel like I did.
This song had no emotional anything to me when I heard it originally.
But now it's different. Now I've been there. Now I know the people. I've seen their destroyed homes, destroyed lives, destroyed families. And yes, I was there for almost 2 and a half months, and I worked my hardest while I was there. But that was already almost a month ago, and I've done nothing for them since. As far as I know, I will never do anything that helps the country of Haiti ever again. I know it's not about guilt, but I am sitting in my comfortable chair on the internet in the air conditioning, when I now have friends who don't even have a ceiling or walls, and I am not actively trying to improve their life.
The entire world was mourning with Haiti on January 12th, yet now it's as if the dead were buried with the alive, and no one's bringing flowers to the graveside.


***I wrote this and didn't publish it because I was going to add/edit it and make it awesome and make you care, but mostly this is just me realizing the depth of my experiences in Haiti and everything that happened, and really finally mourning for them, and wanting to be there again, very much. But now I am going to post it anyway because I've concluded I'll never really finish it, and I do think it's important to remember that Haiti is not instantly better just because TV's got something new to cover.

The wrap up (/a lot of random paragraphs about ideas/events in the last few weeks in Haiti)

Whew, what to even say....

I'm back in the States now, super broke monetarily, but rich beyond measure in every other way possible.

The theme of the DTS I was attending was "transformation."
Coming back to LA and seeing all my friends from the other teams (and even - especially? - my own) after their two and half months of adventure was crazy. These were NOT the same people I had met 5 months ago. These were my brothers and sisters and they had new hearts and new dreams and an entirely new view of the world and how they ought to be living in it.

The final time in Haiti was definitely interesting.
A few days after my last post we were heading out to do food distribution in the Cite Soleil tent city we'd been working with (which I'd mentioned below was one which was a tent city of about 6,000 who were not currently receiving much aid, so we were sooo excited to finally be able to share something tangible with our new friends!) when Melissa discovered that $2,000 dollars of our team money had been stolen from the safe room - which not only annihilated our plans of actual ministry/debrief, we no longer even had enough money left to stay in our tents on the base!

That night the ywam pap staff held a meeting about it, and took an offering for us so that we could at least maybe get enough money to stay on base (to continue with our present agenda, we would need $1,500). In about 5 minutes we had $1,450, the other $50 given by the morning, enough to continue with everything! Yeaa-aaah!! And this wasn't coming from some huge, rich benefactor, this was all between two smaller teams from Mexico and Pismo Beach and the few SOS/Haitian Staff, who were all also there on support. We definitely all learned a little bit about God's faithfulness and provision that night.

The next day we did food distribution at the palace... so as far as food distribution goes, we've seen better.
An example of a well run food distribution (Cite Soleil - feeding 6,000):


An example of the type of food distribution we ended up doing at the Palace:


The Palace area has been turned in to yet another of PaP's 1,300 tent cities, but this one has no leaders, no orders, and no way to really properly distribute food. While we originally started out getting out of the truck and personally handing out food and then relocating before the crowd got too big, very quickly we found ourselves in mob-like settings and had to run back in the truck and take off before it got out of hand, or before we lost one of ours.. ha.. (I would like to note that no matter how aggressive it got, many of us always felt a few anonymous Haitian hands helping boost us quickly in to the truck or offer other assistance in escaping the scene safely)
Soon the only option we had left is what the video shows, just driving around, giving a bit out, and rushing off. I definitely don't think it's the most beneficial route, but it's the sort of problem you run in to a lot in Haiti.. there is almost never an easy or conventional way to help.


The next day we got to go to the mountains... and it was SO good! I didn't understand how oppressive Port-au-Prince was/is/had felt to me until finally being freed from the environment.. and I really mean freed. I had no idea the weight it had until we were finally away from it, to the extent that I almost felt bitter when we had to return the next week, to once again just feel that hopelessness and anger and fear and hatred and apathy, to have my personal freedom taken away once again... all amidst trash and rubble and crushed lives and fumes - it is such a dark, tangible feeling... and just being there after the contrast of the beauty, joy, freedom, innocence, and life we'd seen in the mountains felt like we were going back to prison.

That was when I only had another two days in Port-au-Prince... my "need" for personal freedom is completely sobered when acknowledging the fact that millions of people spend their whole lives in that environment.

But yeah! The mountains were great: full of slight mishaps like showering in the rapids and getting carried down the river, only to be rescued by Haitian children as you hold on to some branch on the bank, haha, sleeping in flooded tents, or performing one of our skits only to have the sound go out and looking like awkward semi losers for the embarrassing silent duration, but it was definitely an amazing week, with lots of love poured out on to some really awesome people who haven't gotten much lately.

This is (some other people doing) the aforementioned skit:


(...I was Satan..Thanks team. ;p)

Umm.. I'm trying to not make this update super random and long, but I think I've already failed both so I'm going to stop now, heh. That's basically the wrap up of the end of my time in Haiti. I'm going to try to continue to update on things I find out about Haiti, and probably use this blog for my next adventure, too. .. so thanks for reading, thanks for supporting me, and please, please, please, don't forget about Haiti!!!!

Love, love, love! Sara

Dear Beautiful and Wonderful Supporters,

THANK YOU SO MUCH. Seriously. I can not even begin to emphasize how thankful I am for anyone who put even one prayer out there or made the smallest contribution. I was able to raise all but $350 (a small enough amount that YWAM extended the deadline for me til pre-graduation on June 12th), and that is pretty much nothing short of a miracle! I'm sorry I haven't been able to personally thank all/most of you, and won't really be able to for another month or so, but please know it doesn't represent the gratitude I have for all of your support!

With only 15 days left of my time in Haiti, I can truly say that this has been such an amazing trip and so many things have happened that would not be possible without you! If you contributed even $10, please know that you are responsible for significantly improving the quality of living for at least a few Haitians by supplying funding for things like tarps.

(*pre tarp, photo by leanne)

Anyway, this is just the pre-cursor to the massive thank you I would like to bestow on you (;)), but I just wanted to make sure that in the mean time you know that your money is making a difference!

PORT-AU-PRINCE! (written like a week and ago... yeah for "textedit!"

(*photo found on google images of City Soleil)

Ahhh, It's so eye opening! We recently watched one of my favorite movies, Blood Diamond, and as we drive through or work in various tent cities, I often think of the journalists line when they go to one of the largest refugee camps, "So this is what a million (homeless) people looks like." I am not sure I've seen a million yet, but as the days stack up and the numbers in the tent cities double by the thousands, my eyes have been opened to the reality of every day life for people all over Haiti, and unfortunately, many places around the world.

One of our main projects while we've been here is assisting in rebuilding a church/school in City Soleil, the poorest area in the Western Hemisphere, boasting fun statistics like "90% of kidnappings in the nation take place here." Exciting! Apparently since the earthquake the area has gotten markably safer, but it's always fun to know that according to various random resources, you're working in what is purportedly one of the most dangerous parts of the world. The best part about

the project is that its not just "the white people coming in to fix things." It's mostly Haitians in the area volunteering their time to see their church restored, and we are right there next to them in the assembly line, passing

down the buckets of "BERTONE, BERTONE, BERTONE!!" (cem

ent). Yesss! Something you see a lot of in Haiti is unrest - boredom, apathy, and lack of initiative. It seems that there are so many problems,

they slowly become immune to them and are either too overwhelmed or apathetic to try to make a difference on their own. So it's really refreshing to see people who are willing and wanting to make a change in their nation!

Tuesday all ministry plans were put on hold as we were on base lock down due to riotting in the streets, during which seven people were shot and two doctors were kidnapped.

While much of the rioting is caused by the politcal unrest due to a potential upset in Presidency/the Presidential Race, food is running short and many have been asking where all the money that was given to Haiti has gone. The answer? "The organizations have the money!" While this is true of bigger organizations like Red Cross and Unicef, obviously not every organization or NGO here recieved funding from the Haitian Government (you know, like, yeah, YWAM for in

stance, haha), this answer has unfortunately led to a lot of mobbing, harrassing, etc. of anyone associated with an organization who happens to find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. Compliments of events like the U.N. having to escort some of our Brazilian friends back to the base after an attempt to grab the girls

from the truck and the kidnapping of the doctors, last Tuesday entailed a base lock-down where we spent the day learning fun things like "what to do when you are driving and get shot in the arm," etc. Our ministry hours have also been shortened and for instance today it wasn't safe to go to the Church site, so we spent the day teaching/singing (Haitian songs are so much

more fun than American songs... what the heck.)/dramas/pr

aying/hanging out at our assigned tent city in another part of City Soleil, where food is a scarcity and starvation is rampant, they have to walk a few miles to get water, the majority of the children are orphans, and many have no more than a few sheets and plastic wrap drapped over tall sticks as their covering.

It's definitely a new experience - being in a city where things like shootings and starving to death and 50,000 people riotting is a normal occurrence, but I can honestly say I'd rather be here than tucked safely away in some American suburb (okay, not that that happens often anyway, but still!). I feel like FINALLY, fiiiiinnnaaallly, I am able to at least get a small glimpse behind that torn and frayed curtain of reality beyond the western way. And I just want to pull tha

t curtain aside and see the full view! Run past it and be with the people, not just look, but touch and feel and live - not just in Haiti, but all over the world! Hah, that, however is a longer thought full of new inspiration and that sort which is better placed in the coffee conversations we're going to have when I come back, yeah? So anyway, moving on...

We live in tents outside of an Orphanage and a Medical Clinic and share two toilets (and 0 working showers) with about 60 people.... and I love it! Anytime we're not eating, working, or meeting, I have the priveledge of hanging out with some of the coolest kids in the world! Seriously. I love them. My love runneth over.

Almost all of them came from the mountain areas, all near death, many of them still operating only in positions similar to the ones they were found in.

The orphanage is AMAZING. All of the kids have beds and toys, eat regularly, and go to school (interesting fact: apparently there are no standing schools left in Port-Au-Prince, and the teachers who come to the orphanage teach in a make-shift tarp class room in the field because they refuse to work inside of a building). If they turn 18 and have still not been adopted, they are allowed to stay on or move in with someone in the city and the orphanage pays for them to go to college and trade school. The disabled ones, all though the orphanage has none of the means to properly care for them, are here for life unless someone takes them.... Which, by the way, a rehabiliation home for the disabled in Texas offered to take ALL of the handicapped kids/adults/whoever living here, but the Government so far hasn't allowed it, even though the orphanage is so ill equipped to care for them that many of them spend their days strapped to wheelchairs or immobile in cribs meant for small children. I've learned a lot about the Haitian Government this past month, and... let's just say there's a lottt of room for improvement.

Well, this is getting unfortunately lengthy so I will just add on more quick point that maybe you could pray for, and then close on up...

There are YWAM bases all over the world, but the Port-Au-Prince one was founded only four days after the earthquake, and all of the living situations, etc. are temporary. Amazingly, last week the Mayor gave YWAM PaP 30 acres of land to use to build both a base and 1,000 permanent homes for families currently in tent cities. This is great, but has come with problems of it's own as people in the surrounding community have considered that land to belong to them, and there are four men who have threatened Peterson, (the PaP base director and simultaneously one of the best leaders I've ever encountered) basically using their status of working with the police etc. to say that they have gun access and no work should continue without a form of payment made to them. They threatened away all the hired Haitians who had been working there, and I got to be in the team that was sent down a few days later to work anyway, haha. The Four showed up plus some buddies, but when they came over to where I was working with two others, really the most uncomfortable part of the exchange was only when they head guy made all the other guys in his crew come talk to me to work on their english. Thankfully, they didn't seem particularly angered by our work there, so hopefully it will continue to go in our favor. So yeah! If you could just pray for favor with the community so that we aren't doing more damage than good, and peace with those men, that would be awesome!

Anyway, man! I feel like there's so much more! I guess that just means you should come down/up/over to Haiti and find out what's going on for yourself! Hope all's well!

Love,

Sara

Irony in the Worst Form Possible

"He who is faithful in little..."

Here in Saint Marc, many days we have the priveledge of being our own supervisors: examining the options and deciding what to do, how we should do it, and when we should finish.

It's easy to keep going on days bursting with "importance," projects we can see immediate results from and which give us the energy to joyfully persevere. Days when we're picking up litter for hours in weather with heat indexes of 112 degrees, however, it get's a little more difficult. One thought that has been coming to mind and giving me the motivation to push through, though, is this:

"One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much." (Luke 16:10)

Wednesday especially, every single forsaken sliver of a plastic half jutting out of the ground represented a small part of something much bigger. My heart, and the willingness (or lack there of) to take part in not just the "important" things, but the little things.. knowing that a week later, that plastic sliver would be replaced by two rusty tin cans, but for the day, because it was asked of me, I needed to put my all in to it.

That same day we hosted another gathering with the girls from the Brothels. I know just being present is valuable, if proved only by the question asked on their first visit: "Do you really love us? Don't you know that people will judge you and talk about you if you are with us?" But as encouraging as it is to have a group of girls you barely know run up to hug you, calling you by name, joyful to see that you've returned to invest in their lives... the actual event is kind of frustrating. It's difficult, wanting to form relationships with people but feeling so limited not only by the cultural differences but the very language itself. That day we were doing art projects and one of the Haitians from the base was speaking, and there wasn't necessarily a specific need for me to be there. So when I left to use the restroom, I went through about a 3 minute "Ehhhhhhh," mental battle where I tried to figure out if leaving an hour early would be fine or not.

Ha.. Then God reminded me of my heart, or at least what I wanted it to look like. The things I claimed to be passionate about, the things I supposedly wanted to dedicate my life to. I've had a heart for prostitutes for awhile now. "If I went back to Amsterdam,"I have thought, "I would want to work with the prostitutes." The same for Thailand. The same for America, even.

Then I got the big "OH. Rigggght."

I am with prostitutes right now! This is the sort of opportunity I had longed for, and when I actually got it, because it wasn't the exact context I had thought about previously, I didn't even recognize it. "If you are here with prostitutes now, and you are not making the most of that opportunity - how can you say that this is what you want to do? How can you claim that this is one of the ministries you'd like to be part of, when it is right in your hand and you put it aside because there's an easier or more interesting option?" In essence, if I couldn't serve these women here and now, if I was not faithful with this "little" situation that only entailed a few hours where only the bare minimum was required of me, how could I ever expect to be faithful in bigger situations?

Ultimately, I was really just convicted to make the most of every moment. Not just moments I've looked for, but in anything that's presented to me. Returning to the Brothel Event, I wasn't specifically needed - everything would have been fine without me. But I wouldn't have been there for the woman sobbing on the ground, mourning the loss of her relatives in the earthquake and the life she now has to lead as a consequence. I wouldn't have been able to speak to her in the words of the only language we both know, embrace and compassion. I wouldn't have been able to see the paintings of which the women drew depicting themselves: full of colors and flowers and vibrance and beauty. I wouldn't have had the priveledge of hearing the prayers of the women, requests for houses or children or husbands, and the few that stood out especially, vulnerable pleas to be freed from this business... one specifically crying out a desire with a weight neither a sentence nor a person should bear: "God, free me from this slavery."

Ahhh. We are so quick to make up our own idea of what ministry looks like, or wait for the exact situation, and miss everything that is right in front of us. This is something I've dealt with almost everywhere I go, especially places like Saint Louis where I somehow get the mindset that I can only really be doing something productive if I somehow manage to escape the city. But over and over again, (especially in this past year), I've really had to remind myself of a major theme: "If not now, when?" If I am not living the way I'd like to now, chances are, even in a new scenario, I won't be living that way then either, or worse, will never actually end up in that situation and will waste all the other opportunities I'm given by not even recognizing them as such.

More specifically to my time in Haiti, it reminds me that my "ministry" is not over when my work day is. Being faithful to what God's called me to do doesn't mean feeding an orphan anymore than it does being gracious to the cashier with the bad attitude or kind to the people I already interact with everyday. If I am not treating even my tent mates with grace and love, how can I truly administer it in other situations?

Well, as always, there's a bit more to this thought but I've gotta go so feel free to think up the subject yourself. ;)

Love!

The, "Surprise, I'm actually going to start updating this!" Post!

As a newsletter of some sort has been requested and I had a bit of down time, I thought that I may as well start updating this fella... so here we go!


We (as pictured above on a very lovely day often referred to as Easter) are stationed at the YWAM base in Saint Marc, about an hour and a half drive from Port-Au-Prince, home to tons and tons of internally displaced earthquake victims, a lot of goats, pigs, cow like creatures, malnourished but joyful children, zombie dogs, and now a bunch of crazy volunteers from all over the world.

Our team has been spending our time by alternating weeks working on/around (ish) the base, and living in and discipling a tent community of displaced Port-Au-Prince victims outside of a Medical Clinic (which, pre 3 months ago, was used as a public bathroom for the past 10 years... Mmm, home, sweet home!).

The tent community is often exhausting, but always awesome. Along with just hanging out with the people there, we have various teachings most nights which are open to anyone in the surrounding area, many times ending with some legit prayer times and/or an intense showcasing of local talent in the form of dance or rap off's, which usually attracts an all ages crowd of between 100-200 people. Our first week there we were in charge of finding out as much about the people living in the tents as possible and creating case files for each tent: their stories, skills, needs, desires, etc. Combining this information with everything else we could gather about the community, we have been working to create sustainable jobs for the families - ones that can get them going on enterprises that will last far beyond our time here.

Monday we held the first "Community Meeting," Wednesday started a basket weaving class, Friday the pregnant women in the community were employed to do laundry, and tomorrow we're holding a class on just basic business skills and how to use the resources they have to make money, etc. Already the people have gone from milling about, bored, aimless, tired and ready to argue, to smiling and joking and seeming like they have a sense of purpose. It's AWESOME, and it's just the beginning!

As far as base work, welll, I thought it would mean doing a lot of menial jobs such as washing dishes or cleaning bathrooms, but turns out it's awesome! (not that toilet scrubbing isn't....) There are so many important things YWAM Haiti does, and most of them are held on base. The YWAM base has multiple uses: in addition to running a DTS and various other ministries, it houses a school, a church, a distribution center, and tons of trailers etc. which are used to store and sort food, clothing, medical supplies and other essential needs for the Haitians. YWAM is responsible for feeding about 10,000 people a day, so a lot of time was spent just moving mass amounts of beans, rice, salt, and vegetable oil from containers to trucks for food distribution

(110 lb bags...I'm going to be buff! okay, well, I couldnt actually carry those by myself, but still! whew!), organzing the medical depot, cleaning up the streets, ministering to people at the medical clinic, working de-rusting and working with the concreters for the MEGA TENT they are setting up in the back lot to run food distribution and/or a youth center/whatever they want to use it for and then spending the afternoon hosting a gathering from the local brothels. It has been so sweet - no matter how trying the physical labor is, even if my hands stop working, I still have the energy and the motivation to keep going.
And it's not just the big stuff, it's even in the smaller things when I'm just out of my element i.e. Leanne and I ended up heading up a soccer game for the prostitutes - I suck at soccer/any sport that's not rock, paper, scissors,which isn't actually a sport, and I'm not actually that good at it. But the whole time I was just full of energy and we just had a blast! Afterwards I brought out my nail polish, wanting to paint their nails -and they ended up giving all the blancs (white people) full out manicures! (For the record, the experience itself was a lot less awkward then my face seems to be declaring it was, haha) It's really difficult to out give here... Everyone is so generous even with the little they do have!

Anyway, there's so much more to say, and so much more being done (i.e. I just got back from preaching at the Church Service of a Pastor friend of ours. What the heck!? An American who avoids public speaking at all costs, behind a pulpit in Haiti speaking to 150+ people who I could never even hope to communicate to in my own language!? Whoaaa, what a privilege, and how amazing it is to see God using the weaknesses of the Unlikely to spread His hope!), but I just wanted to lay out the basic gist of life here, so that next post I can just jump in to one of the many awesome things that are going down rather than detail you to death with background information. ;p Hope all's well in whatever land you're reading this from (is it?? I want to know!), and that you know someone in Haiti is thinking of you!
Love, Your Zanmi (friend) Sara

I'm in Haiti!

Well, I hadn't really planned on updating this, but as I have internet for the moment and many have asked about a newsletter of some sort, I figured that I could spend this down time giving a brief(ish..) update. So here we go!

We (as pictured above on a very lovely day often referred to as Easter) are stationed at the YWAM base in Saint Marc, about an hour and a half drive from Port-Au-Prince, home to tons and tons of internally displaced earthquake victims, a lot of goats, pigs, cow like creatures, zombie dogs, and now a bunch of crazy volunteers from all over the world.

Our team has been spending our time by alternating weeks working on/around (ish) the base, and living in and discipling a tent community of displaced Port-Au-Prince victims outside of a Medical Clinic (which, pre 3 months ago, was used as a public bathroom for the past 10 years... Mmm, home, sweet home!).

The tent community is often exhausting, but always awesome. Along with just hanging out with the people there, we have various teachings most nights which are open to anyone in the surrounding area, many times ending with some legit prayer times and/or an intense showcasing of local talent in the form of dance or rap off's, which usually attracts an all ages crowd of between 100-200 people. Our first week there we were in charge of finding out as much about the people living in the tents as possible and creating case files for each tent: their stories, skills, needs, desires, etc. Combining this information with everything else we could gather about the community, we have been working to create sustainable jobs for the families - ones that can get them going on enterprises that will last far beyond our time

here.
Monday we held the very first "Community Meeting," which will act as a 'town hall and Wednesday started a basket weaving class, Friday the pregnant women in the community were employed to do laundry, and tomorrow we're holding a class on just basic business skills and how to use the resources they have to make money, etc. Already the people have gone from milling about, bored, aimless, tired and ready to argue, to smiling and joking and seeming like they have a sense of purpose. It's AWESOME, and it's just the beginning!

As far as base work, welll, I thought it would mean doing a lot of menial jobs such as washing dishes or cleaning bathrooms, but turns out it's awesome! (not that toi

let scrubbing isn't....) There are so many important things YWAM Haiti does, and most of them are held on base. The YWAM base has multiple uses: in addition to running a DTS and various other ministries, it houses a school, a church, a distribution center, and tons of trailers etc. which are used to store and sort food, clothing, medical supplies and other essential needs for the Haitians. YWAM is responsible for feeding about 10,000 people a day, so a lot of time was spent just moving mass amounts of beans, rice, salt, and vegetable oil from containers to trucks for food distribution

(110 lb bags...I'm going to be buff! okay, well, I couldnt actually carry those by myself, but still! whew!), organzing the medical depot, cleaning up the streets, ministering to people at the medical clinic, working de-rusting and working with the concreters for the MEGA TENT they are setting up in the back lot to run food di

stribution and/or a youth center/whatever they want to use it for and then spending the afternoon hosting a gathering from the local brothels. It has been so sweet - no matter how trying the physical labor is, even if my hands stop working, I still have the energy and the motivation to keep going - even when I'm out of my element

Even in smaller things, i.e. Leanne and I ended up heading up a soccer game for the prostitutes - I suck at soccer/any sport that's not rock, paper, scissors,which isn't actually a sport, and I'm not actually that good at it. BUT... I never got tired, and we had so much fun out there!

Afterwards I brought out my nail polish, wanting to paint their nails -and they ended up giving all the blancs (white people) full out manicures! (For the record, the experience itself was a lot less awkward then my face seems to be declaring it was, haha) It's really difficult to out give here... Everyone is so generous even with the little they do have or are able to do!

Anyway, there's so much more to say, and so much more being done (i.e. I just got back from preaching at the Church Service of a Pastor friend of ours. What the heck!? An American who avoids public speaking at all costs, behind a pulpit in a Haiti speaking to 150+ people who I could never even hope to communicate to in my own language!? Woaah, what a privilege, and how amazing it is to see God using the weaknesses of the Unlikely to spread His hope!), but I just wanted to lay out the basic gist of life here, so that next post I can just jump in to one of the many awesome things that are going down rather than detail you to death with background information. ;p

Hope all's well in whatever land you're reading this from (is it?? I want to know!), and that you know someone in Haiti is thinking of you!

Love, Your Zanmi (friend) Sara

UPDATE!

Thanks SO MUCH to all who've contributed, the need is now down to $1,000 in the next four days! For the record, the money is not going to be used on extravagant Caribbean vacationing, unless living in a tent and eating beans and rice every day can count as such- the majority of the money will be used for building houses, buying the tents we'll be constructing for the Internationally Displaced People, help at the Medical Clinics, etc. Other things we'll be doing will include working in orphanages, registering people (150,000 people are still unaccounted for), working with food and clothing distribution, etc. We are not looking to help rebuild Haiti, but rather to partner with the community and build a new and stronger foundation, something made of much more than mud and clay.


If you would like to help, feel free to send any sort of donation through:

I'm not sure how much internet access I'll have in Haiti, so please forgive me if I am unable to respond to any communications, and please know I love and will miss you all!
<3Sara

Hands of Hope

As (hopefully) all of you know, on January 12th a massive earthquake rocked Haiti, killing 230,000, leaving an estimated 1,000,000 homeless, displacing even more and ultimately affecting at least 3 million people. I cannot even begin to imagine what life is like for people there, for the newly orphaned and the freshly widowed, for the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere who had nothing and now has even less. So often when we hear about these things, the only response we seem capable of is helplessness.
As such, I am so thankful and humbled to say that I have been presented with a unique opportunity to actually go and work with one of the most structured relief efforts currently operating in Haiti right now.... Meaning that in four weeks, less than three months after this catastrophe, I will have the privilege of being with these people as well as their neighbors in the Dominican, partnering with the community and serving them in any way I'm able!
(I am able to do this as part of a DTS (Discipleship Training School) I'm currently doing with YWAM (Youth with A Mission) - an international missions training and sending organization with over 1,000 locations in 150 different countries, whose main purpose is to "Know God and make Him Known." As some of the most `known`characteristics of God are love and His passion for justice, basically YWAMers are all about learning and loving! The first three months are comprised of a lecture phase, which features different speakers from around the world who come in and teach in-depth on various topics, while dually allowing students to become pro-active in the community through volunteering, etc. [this could be anything from mentoring/tutoring at risk youth in a Bootcamp run by the LAPD to raising awareness for Human Trafficking.]. The final two months are spent on "outreach," where we split up into groups of about 10 and go overseas to do our best to administer those characteristics of God we've just learned so much about, such as love and justice, by whatever means most needed, whether building houses or working with victims of genocide or just spending time with the forgotten - loving the unlovable, listening to the voiceless.)


I am SO excited to see what God is doing in Haiti and to join in the efforts already in place.
In order for this to actually happen, though, aside from my own financial contribution, I need to raise some additional funds in the next 3 weeks to help cover both the two and a half months in Haiti/Dominican Republic and the three months in Los Angeles. It's a crazy amount, but God has already made it so clear that I'm supposed to be here and I'm excited for another opportunity to see the impossible become possible. So I would like to humbly request your partnership, either in prayer or through financial contributions. If financially, please feel free to either make out a check to either Youth With A Mission or Sara Owens and mail it to:

Sara Owens C/O YWAM - Winter DTS
11141 Osborne Street,
Lake View Terrace, CA
91342

or you just click the lovely PAYPAL button just down yonder! :)

So, yes! In closing, if you would like to know more or have any questions (or just want to say hey!), please feel free to e-mail me at: of.trees.and.seas@gmail.com. I would love to hear how you're doing and what you're up to, or even if I can help or pray for you in any way (Dear skeptics: I legitimately mean that for every single person who's reading this!)!

Lovelovelove, Your friend/relative/acquaintance/fellow human Sara Danae

For more information:
www.ywam.org
www.ywamla.org
http://www.ywamhaiti.org/

Isaiah 61

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me...
to preach good news to the poor.
..to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
...to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations...

Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

"For I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them."