If you had asked me two weeks ago what I would be doing today, “leaving everything behind to establish a new life in Mexico,” was probably not exactly what I had in mind. Yet here I am, four days of Mexican living under my belt, and 7 more months to go!
So how did I get here?
Well, I was just living regular Sara life in Saint Louis. Working, friendshiping, that sort. It’s the generic American lifestyle (plus or minus a few things, of course) that usually fuels my wanderlust and leaves me longing for foreign streets, new eyes, empty pockets and an overflowing heart.
This time was a little different. I’m slowly but surely getting over the whole, never stay anywhere for more than a few months things. It’s exhilarating, so many good things have come from it, (I’ve experienced God in so many places and contexts that I had never even known existed!) and I have no doubt it’s been the right road for the past two years, but it’s lonely and exhausting. I am weary of having eyes that see so much but hands that can only touch, never hold.
Plus, unlike two years ago, I now have a much more solid grasp as to what I feel I'm supposed to be doing longer term, and had various steps lined up to hopefully start pursuing seriously in January, and I’ve been working full time trying to save up in an attempt to make that a reality.
So when I heard of this program in Mexico called Marketplace Ministry, I thought it sounded awesome, but dismissed it quickly as ultimately a money depleting, dream crushing, time waster that would just mean I would have to start over once again with nothing, like so many times before, right back where I was at with little relevance to the future I am pursuing.
So that was that, I stopped thinking about it. I actually really liked my job and the people I met there, things were going well otherwise, I loved getting to spend more time with my friends; I was achieving St. Louis goals that should have been conquered years ago…. For the first time in a long while, I didn’t even have an overwhelming desire to leave. And then randomly Mayhecko started popping back in to my head.
“Hey. Stop it,” I would say.
“You don’t have anything to do with my future, I’m happy and saving money, go away,” I told it, with an eye glare and a nod of finality.
But alas, it persisted!
So I started praying about it. And everytime, the response would be the same, unrelenting, “Go.”
“Oh, uhh, sorry God, but you must have forgotten… That has nothing to do with my future… remember? You've instilled a passion in me for abolishing Human Trafficking and pursuing justice ... ummm, not a business class in a surf town in Mexico.” Haha. Cuz of course I know more about my future and what God wants me to do with my life than He does. “Umm, and, I’m pretty happy right now… not really good timing to uproot and make a trek into the unknown, wouldn’t you agree?” Apparently not, because the only “response” I ever got was just got more ‘go to Mexico’s.’
So I talked to Justin with Looney Bean, booked a super expensive flight, worked 8 shifts in seven days while still managing to spend 3 days preparing/celebrating my best friends wedding, said my goodbyes, packed, and 8 days later landed in a new country, without any luggage or ideas as to why exactly I’m supposed to be here, aside from the fact that to truly live our lives we’ve got to lose them.
So! To all who were wondering, that’s why I’m here, and this is what I’ll be doing:
I am doing a program called Marketplace Ministry, run through Looney Bean Coffee Company. Basically you live in a community with a bunch of other Looney Bean people, while taking Business, Ministry, and Spanish classes, working at their coffee shop, doing various ministry around the city (i.e. working at the dump or an orphanage, leading kids clubs or working with prostitutes…. Or all of the above and more!), and learning how to run a business that can be used either as a ministry or to fund a ministry, so that you are self-supported, etc. The program runs through the end of January but afterwards I can either stay on as a volunteer and/or help with the next program which starts mid-February.
Even though it’s uprooting once again at a time and for a reason that somewhat defies logic, I am excited and ready for whatever this season may bring, because I know that regardless of the challenges and the uncertainty of handing over the reins of control, it's not a dream-crushing, time wasting, money murderer - I feel confident that this is where I am supposed to be and I’m excited for all the things God has in store that are “too lofty for me to attain.”
‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts “ Isaiah 55:8-9
